To play or not to play!

Self-Care Sunday is here!
Having one day devoted to Self-Care is a start in a day and age where alot of avenues are open 24/7.

It is a start in developing a habit that we can then gradually incorporate into the week.

Traditionally living in this Christian country England UK Sunday was the day when shops closed and there was a slower paced day.

As a child I felt the slower pace and it allowed me permission to re-charge, play more and have a lie in.

Nowadays the slower pace is not in the external world.

We have to create it internally.

Self-Care for me is like re-charging my batteries.

Self-Care for me is giving myself permission to slow down, do one thing that lights me up and gives me joy.

Self-Care for me is giving myself permission:

To pause!

To close my eyes and relax!

To have that lie in during the morning or that afternoon siesta!

To play!

To be!

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Time Management Tuesday

Time Management Tuesday is here.

A Quranic Song comes to mind. Surah in Arabic means Song when I first heard that my whole relationship changed to God, the Quran, life and the world. I started experiencing life as a symphony. But enough about me back to the Song in the Quran.

There is a Song in the Quran called The Time.

“By Time Verily humanity is at loss except those who are reliable and those who work towards peace and order and those who counsel and support each other to be patient and persevere and counsel and support each other to be truthful.”

This translation from Arabic is mine and doesn’t do the Arabic justice but just wanted to ask you how are you reliable?

How do you show up for others?

How do you show up for yourself?

Reliable is usually translated as faithful but reliable for me makes more sense especially in terms of time keeping.

I am always running late, chasing time it seems and never giving myself time.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves extra time to be prompt, to allow unforseen events.

Sometimes we schedule too much to do in a little bit of time and end up feeling burnt out.

How can you show up better for yourself to prevent this?

Self-Care Sunday!

Self-Care Sunday is here well that is what I call it!

Self-Care isn’t selfish, it is necessary to survive and thrive.

Self-Care is giving yourself permission to feel, think, reflect, enjoy, eat, drink, sleep, ask and be vulnerable.

If you are one who gives to others and others expect you to always have the answers and sometimes the doubt that you do not know, leads you to screaming out the questions then STOP.

Self-Care requires to
STOP
THINK
ASSESS and there be
NO EXCUSES

You do not need to justify Self-Care, explain or give excuses to anyone.

So after you have stopped today, think about how you are going to look after yourself today.

Assess how your body, mind and soul feels before and after the activity.

And make NO EXCUSES to anyone else on why you needed to.

You are not weak if you are finding things difficult or confusing or overwhelming.

A lot of us have to be strong for others, we hold space for others and that can be exhausting.

Sometimes we need to hold space for ourselves!

Remember your strength can be your vulnerability and your vulnerability your strength.

How will you hold and care for yourself today?

Happy Sunday!

Permission is Key!

As a Social Worker for 28 years, I used to feel burn out was exclusive to people in that profession, then I opened my Business and started meeting all these Entrepreneurs who suffered from Burn Out and like me give to others and their Business but don’t know how to give to themselves.

Permission is the key to beat burn out.

But permission is something we find difficult to give to ourselves.

Permission to relax.

Permission to reflect.

Permission to ask questions about where we are going, why we want to go there and how do we get there.

Burn out is a phenemon that is sadly becoming so common in many different Industries as well as in the Caring Professions.

But I find what burns you out also reignites your soul.

Life is Paradoxical.

We all have a mission, a purpose and want to find kindred spirits like us.

But what fires you up can burn you out and what burns you out fires you up.

Who do you want to serve?

Why you want to serve?

How do you serve?

For me these are the questions that provide the answers but really deep ones that take years to answer?

After all the questions are more important than the answers!

Love to know if permission to relax and reflect is a struggle for some of you in this technological age where unplugging from technology is an ongoing battle?

Am I totally alone?

Indeed Abstaining from Digital Devices is something I advocate at least once a week for several hours and is the second step in all my Coaching Programs.

Abstaining from Digital Devices means you can have time and space to ask those questions and together via Meditation and Gratitude practices, you can be inspired and then take inspired action to pursue and develop your purpose.

In this day and age though it takes alot of discipline and will power to abstain from our digital devices.

They entertain us, tell the time for us, remind us, wake us up and we feel lost without them.

If you feel you cannot walk away from the device, I suggest that you put the settings on your phone on airplane mode and try that method for abstaining and see how that improves the quality of your life.

I thoroughly recommend you at least try for an hour to be away from your device.

It is a sure way to increase your energy levels.

Drowning in this sea of information! Wisdom in this technological age.

Wisdom is sought outside of yourself.

Most people seek it there.

The masters and teachers of wisdom know wisdom is within, wanting a way out.

Nowadays wisdom is mistaken for information not even knowledge.

To know something well that is something…..

To really know……

To be wise about what you know…..well ………

You embody that knowledge.

You live that knowledge.

You practice that knowledge.

Wisdom is beyond books.

Wisdom is like the fish that swam away in the famous story of Moses and Khidr.

You may see it for a second and then it is gone.

In this technological age where we are bombarded with information, you can feel you are drowning.

Too much to process.

So become like the fish in the sea and learn to swim.

Swim in the sea of your inner wisdom.

You know more than you think.

Being Part Three. Finding your Why!

A wise woman that I know and and deeply love, once said to me:

It is the questions that you ask which are more important than the answers!

Indeed about a year ago, I started asking the question:

What do I want?

This one question lead me to develop my purpose. People often talk about finding your purpose but I instinctively know you never lose your purpose, it is buried deep within you. Your purpose is an intrinsic part of your being. However I know most of us are never taught how to develop it. Indeed developing your purpose, I have discovered leads you to a more authentic way of being.

This way of being, I never imagined but has lead me to experience sustained joy in my life. This joy is not momentary or temporary but sustained.

Strange I know, because the question what do I want, sounds selfish, egotistical even. I can hear some of you reading this feeling disgusted. How dare I ask what I want when the vast majority of people do not have what they need! It even sounds greedy.

However the one question made me wipe the fog in front of me and provided me with a clarity of vision.

Not only vision but I can hear, feel, smell, taste and touch the way I want to be in the future, I know the past cannot be changed though and so I am learning to let go of the previous way I was and the unhealthy ways of being and the ways of being that no longer serve me. This letting go is not easy but fundamental and really starts by forgiving myself.

Can you forgive yourself?

Can you allow yourself to ask what do you really want?

This one question has provided me with direction for the destination I am heading for.

And when I let myself experience the destination and experience the future as the present, that is sheer heaven.

But I could never experience it if I never asked:

What is it that I really want?

This question unravelled so many different other questions. It is a question most people are afraid to ask. Most of us ask: What do I want to do? What do others expect of me? Who should I be?

I know these shoulds lead to feeling trapped and feeling obligated, guilt and misery. But all these shoulds and feelings are a product and culmination of your unhealthy ways of being arising from your childhood, your schooling and the society you grew up in.

I know you have you spent most of your life just doing, giving to others and hardly ever giving to yourself. Maybe for some time you also feel you do not have ANYMORE to give. You feel the fire that was within you all these years to serve, has burnt out.

That is why I feel it is exciting and sheer serependity that you are reading this right now.

There is a fire within me that I always have possessed and that is, to warm tired and weary souls. But now the fire is raging much more and I know it will not burn out because I feed and replenish myself and give to myself. That is what I started doing when I asked that question what do I really want and I have been doing this ever since.

I want you to feel that fire again. I am on a mission to beat burn out. I have found my why and I invite you to find your why by signing up to the Interview Series I have been working on for the past few months.

The series is called Beat Burn Out. I have brought together today’s top Coaches, Authors, Entrepreneurs and Mentors to share with you their journey of how they find their why and how they made the transition from being a human doing to becoming a human being. You do not need to be a Social Worker or Health Care Professional to benefit from it, just a person who has spent the majority of your life giving to others and hardly giving to yourself.

You can sign up at http://www.beatburnoutsummit.com

The best part about the Interview Series is that it is completely free.

I would love you to find your why and experience the joy I am feeling in my life.

Join me at http://www.beatburnoutsummit.com

Find your why!

Being Part Two

Introduction

I am.

I am a human being.

I am not a human doing.

Do you feel like you most of the time you are a human doing?

You rarely have time to just to be who you are.

You are too busy working, striving, worrying, parenting, caring, struggling, earning, cleaning, cooking, searching, reading, studying, posting, blogging, praying, giving, spending. shopping, waking, running or travelling instead of just being.

I know that just writing this blog has been a struggle for me because it has forced me to face some difficult truths.

The act of being

For being requires focus and attention and for you to stop, take stock and observe what is within you, around you and understand how you relate to your thoughts and feelings, to yourself and others in your life. Being requires reflection and acceptance of all that you are and then letting go of those thoughts and feelings that do not serve you. The act requires you to be vulnerable and to strip off the mask that you wear most of the time, that mask you use, to cover your flaws, imperfections, weaknesses and insecurities. The facade you choose to project to the world, so you appear untouchable, unstoppable, and highly functioning and hugely knowledgeable.

Stripping off that mask requires bravery and strength. This is because you need to look yourself in the eye and speak your truth to yourself.

You need to hold the mirror up close and really peer in. Then you need to acknowledge all the darkness within you, the ugly thoughts and the ugly feelings, that bitterness and that rage as well as all the love, light, joy and beauty deep in your heart.

Being is something so subtle yet so rich.

Being is relating to yourself and to others from your very essence.

Being is you just being you.

Being is you radiating your light.

Being is you radiating your love.

Being is you giving without expecting.

Being is you valuing yourself for the miracle that you are.

Being is more than existing, it’s more than surviving, it is more than living. Being is when you wake up and you breathe from your very essence. Being is doing everything throughout the day from the core of your soul. Being is behaving with integrity. Being is living your life’s purpose beautifully and fully.

Do you want to be the best you can be? Do you want to find out how you can be the best version of yourself? Do you want to learn how just to be? Watch out for another blog post from me in the next few weeks spelling out some strategies on how you can do this. For now you can stop take a few minutes out of your busy day doing and just allow yourself to be. BREATHE BE.

Being Part One

Definition of Being

The Collins Student Dictionary defines one of the meanings of being, as the essential nature of the self. A word synonymous with being is essence. What is your way of being? What is your essence? We are all have a unique essence or way of being. We are all unique. You are unique. I know many of us do not value our uniqueness, our essence. Do you value your essence?

What makes you unique?
In this world we live in, where Social Media, more and more shapes our reality, without us even realising it, we constantly compare ourselves to others, we sometimes forget our own uniqueness. Growing up, I was shaped by the image that celebrites portrayed and projected. Nowadays we are shaped more and more by how our friends and family protray and project their lives onto Instagram and Snapchat and Facebook which is usually a fraction of their reality. But we take that fraction to be the whole. Soon we start losing the ability to decipher what really is real. We start feeling fractured. We start losing the connectedness to our essence and our ways of being get infected by an image or a moment, a fraction of our friend’s or relatives life. But we are whole human beings.

Our way of being is our spirit, our uniqueness, our essence. We do not have to apologise for it. Your vulnerabilities, your fragility, your mistakes, your imperfections, your flaws are what makes uniquely you. You need to celebrate all those things aswell as your strength, your resilence, your talents and your beauty. Your darkness and your light are both integral to who you are. Sometimes you do not see what others see and in the shade and shelter of darkness, gifts and ways of being can be nurtured like a womb nurtures life. I want you to celebrate you, smile and breathe and give thanks for all that you are, the rage, the irritations, the messiness, the mess ups, the smiles, the joy that you are.

I will be publishing more blogs about different ways of being in the next few weeks. Watch out for them. Meanwhile I hope you have found this one useful.

Living not Surviving

If you want to live your life fully, and not feel like you are surviving here is some advice

To live you have to get out of your own way.

To live you, you have to take risks.

To live you have to get uncomfortable, really uncomfortable.

To live you have to ask yourself what do you want?

To live you need to be grateful for what you already have.

To live you need to ask yourself what makes your heart sing.

To live you need to invest time and money in yourself?

To live you need to start doing something you have not done before.

Your friends and your family may say you are being crazy.

Your head may say it is crazy.

Your heart may be something else.

You know you are tired of placing a rock again over your dreams and burying them and feeling the weight of that pressure.

Living is making the choice of not placing that rock over the dream and not throwing it onto the sea of tommorrow and not burying it deep in the ocean of never to be.

Living is making a choice of expressing your deepest inner most thoughts and desires to your nearest and dearest.

Living is deciding to stop living an isloated and lonely life.

Living is asking for help.

Living is choosing to let yourself be vulnerable.

Living is realising your strength can be your vulnerability.

Living is realising your vulnerability is your strength.

When you do all the above or some of the above, despite the panic and the fear it instills you, you instinctively know that you no longer can tolerate playing small.

You realise most of your life, all you have been doing is surviving.

When you do all or some of the above, you breathe from deep inside.

When you do all or some of the above, you start seeing life in a brand new way.

When you do all or some of the above, you experience joy.

When you do all or some of the above, you start living an authentic life.

Are you wanting to live an authentic life?

Are you tired of surviving?

Are you tired of putting yourself last?

Do you want to start living?

Do you want to stop surviving?

Then stop avoiding what your heart is telling you.

Stop putting it off.

Stop selling yourself short?

Stop living small.

Start living big.

Start dreaming big.

Start achieving big.

By taking action, book that clarity call with me.

I deliver results.

I teach you the difference between surviving and living.

I help your heart sing.

If you want help to get out of your own way, then schedule your clarity call with me by using the link below.

https://TaniyaHussainCoachingandConsultancyServices.as.me/

Creating

Do you want to learn how to Simplify, Slow Down and Self-Care?

My mantra for 2018 is to slow down, simplify and self-care. Half way through the year, I am discovering the more I create space for myself rather than watching TV that I have seen before or pushing myself to be the perfect parent (which is impossible) the more I am able to slow down, simplify my life and create a pattern of self-care.

Are you tired of just juggling responsibilities?

Creating space for myself is something I have always struggled with. Juggling a Social Work career with three sons for the last 21 years and having an Online Business as a Trauma Recovery Coach, you are probably thinking, it is not surprising.

However creating space for myself is essential as it enables me to think and feel. Each time I have done it, whether it is by a) going to the hairdressers to have my hair done and not taking my mobile phone and spending two hours reading magazines or b) just chatting to family and friends or c) having a cup of tea and cake by myself in a cafe or d) taking half an hour to enjoy the roses on a summer’s day; these all have actually helped me slow down.

These measures have actually increased my energy levels. They have lead to me feeling like a human being rather than a human doing and reminded me why I do what I do. Coaching for me is a labour of love. I know if I do not create any spaces for myself, I would end up feeling resentful and not be able to serve my Clients effectively.

Each time I have created space for myself, I have offered myself a life-line. I have saved myself from dying inside. I know if you are a Professional like me or even a Volunteer who supports people who have been traumatised, you know exactly what I am saying and know I am not exaggerating and being over dramatic.

Holding and supporting people who are being traumatised is no easy task. It can make you lose the will to live at worst or dampen the pleasures of living, at best.

To be or not to be is that the question you have been asking yourself?

Creating space for yourself is essential in this day and age where there is so little opportunity to just be. You are tied to your phone and busy reacting to Social Media! To just be has become a guilty pleasure.

To be, just be, by just watching the world go by as you sit in a cafe sipping tea is a rare treat. I know you only indulge in this on holiday. However for me creating space for myself, has resulted in time being created for projects I put off or conversely I really want to do.

Do you want to transform your life?

As my life seems to be growing busier and busier and more fast paced, I know in these last six months, the more space I have created for myself, the more productive I have become. I would thoroughly recommend creating space for yourself in whatever way suits you. All I know is by creating space, it creates new patterns in your brain and this results in new habits in your behaviour and this transforms your lifestyle. Creating space for yourself elicits change and transforms your relationship with yourself and others. I know most of my relationships have transformed to be more honest, open and loving. I am no longer afraid to be vulnerable and am no longer trying to be good enough.

Schedule Your Clarity Call Now!

Online Coaching is one way of creating space for yourself to explore your goals and dreams. If you are interested in learning how to create spaces for yourself, then schedule a clarity call with me.

https://TaniyaHussainCoachingandConsultancyServices.as.me/